The People You Surround Yourself with Will Determine What You Become.
Updated: Jun 6
A bit of fortune cookie wisdom to start out this blog post......
It's so true though.
I've gone through tough times where everything seemed to be a struggle.
Where I couldn't necessarily see a clear path to better days even while knowing they would eventually come around.
Feeling like it was on ME to make changes so things would improve.
The one failsafe thing I've found to turn things around?
Working to ensure the people I'm choosing to spend time with are positive and empowering.
I have a number of close friends that I know I can be brutally honest with about where I am and what I might be struggling with and when I do that, I immediately feel a little bit lighter.
Even without any advice given, just being able to unburden myself to someone else, and inevitably having them prop me up with lovely words and appreciate is enough to turn my mind to the future.
To the possibilities.
To tomorrow looking a little bit brighter than today.
Now I'm not talking about clinical depression here (for that certainly see a qualified therapist and seek medication if recommended) although even for that audience this advice couldn't hurt.
I'm talking about times when a coworker is driving you absolutely nuts, when you're considering a big career move, when a significant relationship is experiencing rough times, or when finances are really tight.
Some people just don't feel comfortable sharing and talking things out with others, and to them I say, "Yes it makes you feel uncomfortable. In fact it can feel impossible to do at the beginning. So start with picking a person who you think will be able to relate to you, and who you know is kind and generous."
I've found I need to talk to different groups for different problems.
My friends with corporate jobs just can't quite give me what I'm looking for when I am struggling with something about my own business.
My friends who don't travel can't commiserate with how absolutely trapped and unfulfilled I might be feeling because I don't have the means to travel at the moment.
New friends don't know my family and closest friends well enough to know how I can simultaneously love them more than anything in the world and be driven absolutely crazy by them at the same time.
My married friends don't always understand the absolute energy drain and joylessness that is the online dating game. And that I'm actually really happy not being in a relationship. That I'm not just waiting to be struck by a love bolt to finally feel complete.
This is not a failing in any friend for not being able to relate to any of this, it just means it's important to have different friends for different purposes.
Sometimes as I've gone into a new stage of life I've had to form a new network. Or I've become much closer with someone who had been on the periphery in the past. I've also had to cut out, or reduce time spent with the people that were not bringing good feelings and vibes into my life.
Who I maybe felt judged by or like we just couldn't relate to each other because we had become too different.
That's a hard thing to do because it feels like admitting defeat. Like I've failed in some way. BUT it's necessary. Your network should build you up not bring you down. My network can certainly give tough love but that's because it's needed in the moment and it's the exception not the rule.
So if you're struggling with something that keeps weighing on you, cycling through your mind, or feeling a sense of overwhelm and hopelessness, pause to look around you and see who you could talk to about this particular problem who might help ease the burden.
Also THANK YOU to all of the amazing people in my life who have helped me realize my dreams and get to where I am today!